Tuesday, August 31, 2010
For the past week I've been annoyed at a variety of folks, some actively in my life, some not. I'm annoyed at a superior who lacks knowledge of ridiculously essential information about our company and relies on me to provide it for him. I'm annoyed at my mother who calls me to mock a friend of mine who was the subject of a scathing article in the newspaper (she doesn't know he's my friend.) I'm temporarily annoyed at Afina for sending me a detailed email about the state of her pregnancy and shopping around for daycare places and getting teary-eyed over pre-schoolers reading silently in the corner of the room. Damn it, I want that sensitive, bookish child! I'm annoyed by a friend of mine who also knows my father and my husband really well. The last conversation I had with Terrance, I said we should all get together for dinner to catch up and he should give me a call. That was several weeks ago. I got a call from Terrance last week. He left a message saying, "...I've owed you a call for a while now. Hey, I have a question for you. Would your company be interested in donating some items for a charity event I'm managing?" It's taken me a week to move a muscle on this issue given how slighted I feel about this move on his part.
I know that life is far from fair but it's hitting me pretty hard lately. This concept in my head that I might be the victim of asymptomatic endometriosis makes me lose faith in what I thought my state of health was for the last twenty years. I'll spare the long, drawn out self-pity session until this diagnosis is confirmed but shouldn't somebody, somewhere in middle school, high school, my ivy l.eague college, a random party, anything mentioned that this affliction exists and stamps out fertility in unsuspecting women???
Since I'm calculating that I have a 50/50 chance of having ovarian endometria that's blocking ovulation, either outcome of surgery is hardly enjoyable. 1) Yes, you have it (and you've had it for a long time, sucker.) 2) No, you don't have it and I don't know why you're not getting pregnant. I think option two would put me in one of the rarest causes of female infertility, but my mind goes to the rarest, infinitesimally rare possibilities.