Saturday, January 22, 2011


I made reference to attending a baby shower this past October or so.  The shower was for a young couple who lives on our street.  Did I mention that they failed to notify us of the birth or even divulge the name of the child (we did know the baby is a girl given all the pink stuff they had in their registry?)  It might be awkward for both of us since we can see when the other comes and goes, but could they have the decency to show me the baby?  I'm starting to regret the present I bought.

My husband went over the see my parents this morning.  They needed help moving furniture or something like that.  I couldn't/didn't want to go because I was cleaning the white tile, white chalk shower with a clear glass door.  Yes, it's torture and a nearly two hour job.  My husband said my parents asked about the fertility thing and he told them we didn't believe in IVF.  I am proud of him that he stood up for our beliefs in the face of my mother's comments like, "Well, there's always IVF."  Uh, no Mom there's not.

Apparently my parents tried to adopt early in their marriage (three years in) but the adoption agency was mean to them.  The funny thing about my parents is that they've never mentioned this fact to me but chose to tell my husband without me there.  I don't really feel strongly about it but it just makes me think my parents are losing it.  Several weeks ago, I had a major breakdown where I left my house and drove over to theirs.  When my dad opened the door, I just burst into tears.  He gathered me up in his arms (I knew he would do this and that's why I went over because my husband is not quite as giving in that way.)  My mom was peppering me with questions but my dad was telling her to stop talking.  It was weird.  It took me about twenty minutes to stop sobbing.

Before I left that night, I asked them why they didn't tell me earlier in my adult life or even in my marriage all about their fertility troubles.  My mom claimed they didn't know if my experience would mirror her own but that seemed stupid since daughters can more often than not inherit their mothers health problems.  I do remember my parents vaguely talking some years back that they had an ectopic pregnancy like two years into the marriage.  Their first child was conceived about four years after the wedding.  But, that was about all the details they got into that would concern me.

It perhaps make sense my mom and dad told my husband about the failed adoption attempt since my husband told me they said he was their favorite son-in-law.  They can afford to say that since he's their only one.    


  1. It has to be so hard that your mom isn't on the same page regarding IVF! I don't know what I'd do if my mom was pushing that one me. You're so strong!

  2. I'm so glad that you got some support from your dad! I'm almost certain that my mom had fertility issues since I'm an only child and it took them a couple of years to conceive me. After my surgeries I asked my mom if there were issues and she denied that there was anything wrong. There is so much denial going on there!!!

    Sending you hugs and prayers!

  3. I love Dads...

    I'm glad you're able to be more and more open with your folks... Praying that will open doors and relationships!