Monday, September 20, 2010

When you're trying hard to be your best, could you be a little less?

I keep meaning to upload some pics I took in San Francisco but life keeps getting in the way.  I guess it's comforting to me that "Faith makes things possible...," JellyBelly, and I all got to CD 1 on pretty much the same day.  I woke up early for a big hike on Saturday and... blood.  The hike was actually a really great thing to do on CD 1 since I barely felt any cramps and the hard work took my mind off of the situation.

The husband and I have been getting along great for the past couple weeks (with a couple momentary exceptions.)  This morning however, he hit me with one of his favorite things, anecdotal evidence.  He loves to talk about the ONE couple he knows that couldn't get pregnant, adopted, and then got pregnant and had their biological child.  For my husband, this is proof positive that, "If people just relax, they'll get pregnant" and "If my wife will just relax, she'll get pregnant."

I've tried to debunk the relaxation theory here on my blog, but since my husband doesn't read my blog, he wouldn't know.  I do talk about this theory at home but perhaps its falling on deaf ears.  I took this from wikip.edia:
Evidence, which may itself be true and verifiable, used to deduce a conclusion which does not follow from it, usually by generalizing from an insufficient amount of evidence. For example "my grandfather smoked like a chimney and died healthy in a car crash at the age of 99" does not disprove the proposition that "smoking markedly increases the probability of cancer and heart disease at a relatively early age". In this case, the evidence may itself be true, but does not warrant the conclusion.    

I explained this morning that scientific studies had been done on people much like me and I've posted that here and shared it before with my husband, and I have a 50% chance of endometriosis based on verifiable evidence on hundreds of women, not one or two or ten, two hundred and twenty-one.  Dr. Stige.n says I have an 80% chance but I didn't ask her the source of that number.

I'm trying not to make to big a deal about this but it really sucks when your husband is accusing you of being too tense to make a baby.  I have tried every trick in the book when it comes to sex during fertile time.  I reminded him that on Saturday, there was barely a blip in my good mood when getting ready for the hike.  I didn't cry, I put a tampon in, got dressed, ate breakfast, and drove off.  That's what a tense woman looks like?

Not that he mentioned it, but I had to do a self-congratulatory speech in dealing with asymptomatic infertility like a mature adult.  I've weathered a quack doctor in one of the poorest parts of L....A..  I've dealt with a jackass doctor who tells me things that are medically untrue.  I've worked out my treatment pretty much on my own.  I found the NaPro doctors by myself while my NFP teacher quits on me unbeknownst to me.  I've studied the evidence and not relied in one-off success or failure stories.  It's hard, really hard when you have to rely on yourself for affirmation.



  1. I just got a lap. on friday...i am like you, except for a low grade infection (that has been cleared up for a while) I have no reason for my infertility. my hormones are good, cycles good, husband good, etc, etc. So I got the lap...and yep, I had endo...for a long time, with lots of scarring. There is *hope* you have it, too. (I hoped for anyway).

    yes, it is ironic that i am giving you anecdotal evidence on a post against anecdotal evidence. I apologize. :)

  2. Lowly, Just checked out your blog. I'm not happy the surgeon found endometriosis in your case, but I am happy it gives you an infertility diagnosis. I'm praying you see results in the coming months. And don't be sorry for anecdotal evidence; it's not bad in itself. ;)

  3. Hi!

    The percentage.

    I am also a person that had to trust her instincts and please do not give up.

    This post really resonanted with me. I was told all was OK after a 1st lap, many tests and was only given progesterone for 1 year. Only with Napro they found that I had a Thyroid condition, more endo, plus that I did not need progesterone, but HCG. Also that I had adrenal fatigue. I did not have any symptoms of all of this only tiredness that I could not associate with anything. My health did a complete turnaround after Napro ,but I had to do all of this on my own since nobody in Mexico practiced Napro.

    the 80% given to you comes from findings of Napro surgeries in which this percentage of women had it when they had the lap.

    We need to trust our own instinct and I am glad that you are doing it.