There's just such good dialogue in When Harry Met Sally. Sure, it's an old movie and maybe quite a few of you youngins haven't seen it. If that's true, good ahead and stream it on Ne.tflix. A sample:
Sally - The biological clock doesn't start ticking until 36.
Then,
Sally - ...And I'm gonna be 40!
Harry - When?
Sally - Someday...
Harry - In 8 years.
Oh, how I wish it was eight years away for me. I turn thirty-four in several months which puts me squarely in the mid-thirties range. I'm not saying anyone who can't get pregnant after trying several months shouldn't be concerned, they should be, but I think being infertile at 34 trumps 24.
This is a completely anecdotal observation but most women heading towards IVF or try it sooner, are over 35. Maybe they got married "late" or just decided to wait to start a family. But I can understand the time pressure you feel you're under at this age. Women under 30 probably feel they've got some time to let things work themselves out. Older women don't feel they have that luxury.
I think the Church should give a little attention or show some empathy towards women who feel the pressure to go down the ART road. Is it just me, or does the Church spend more time giving declaratives rather than exploring the complexity of human emotions? I know why "feel good" churches are popular these days because people feel they are getting attention on the issues that affect them the most. Can we come to a happy medium in the Catholic Church? Declaratives are good for small children, not adults.
I'm not sure what you are expecting the Church to say that it doesn't already express already?
ReplyDeleteDo you want the Church to give you the go ahead because your heart aches so much for a child?
True, older women probably feel more inclined for ART than younger women...I understand why...us "youngins" do have more time to explore our options and to get answers & resolutions. As far as I can tell (probably mainly by listening to Catholic Radio), the Church does understand the complex emotions when it comes to infertility. It understands the deep desire for children. Its intent is not to say "No" to everything, but to show you the beauty in the natural gifts God has given you. God may have other plans for you, you need to be open to them and say "yes". (And I completely understand that this is much easier said than done).
Here is a good article to read. Maybe it will help. http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/2006/0604fea3.asp
ReplyDeleteChristina,
ReplyDeleteIn response to your first comment, you sound offended by my use of the word youngin? Am I correct? And I believe you were using the word "you" when you really mean, "one." I've never purported to say the Church should give anyone a go ahead for anything, like we're all sheep or something just that it should distribute compassion beyond the the usual suspects.
I apologize, I am not a very good writer - one reason my blog is so bland and I don't post very often.
ReplyDeleteYes, I should have said, "one" rather than "you". I was not offended by the word "youngin", I was just using the same term as you. However, I've never thought of myself as a youngin which kind of relays that someone is naive and immature - I've always been told I come across as much older than I actually am.
Out of curiosity, how should the Church distribute compassion?