Thursday, June 23, 2011

Is it worth it anymore?

I read Just Being's last entry yesterday.  She made some very good points, not all of which I agree with but it reminds me that being an infertile blogger has social consequences like anything in real life.  Some people will get more attention, some will say things to upset others, some will disappoint you in a myriad of ways.  All that's happened to me and I suspect I've done it to somebody else.

Because I spend a lot of time anxious and critical, I think several times before I write negative things about other people.  I've got problems with other bloggers at times, yes but I know most people aren't out to hurt others and if I walk away, I'll forget about it.  And I prefer that state.  I mean, I have major philosophical differences with the majority of you out there and what's the point of driving home my undying support of strong womens' rights laws, including abortion.  You obviously disagree, let's not beat a dead horse.  (I hate that analogy.)  Oh, but by the way, I can't stand to read how birth control pills are the root of all evil and are the direct cause of all female maladies.  Really?  Come on.

But, I will say that it does upset me when I write about a sensitive topic or one I really care about and I don't get a single comment.  Mea culpa, I rarely comment anymore.  So, I just go ahead and delete those posts.  Why let it hang out if no one is demonstrably interested?  But people are reading.  I track you, I know the city you live in ;) so I hope you have a good time reading.

No one is who they say they are on their blog.  I'm certainly not.  I've experienced and done things I would never share here even though I think it would shed a lot of light on what kind of person I am and what has motivated me.  I don't have the time to write about all my current events no matter how interesting I think they are or how interesting they would be to read.  I like my blog because this is the only way I'd keep a diary.  Modern life is sad, right?

Becoming a Catholic, learning Creighton, finding out I'm infertile have all been major milestones in my life.  And I'm glad I can weigh those lessons against what I know to be rational and true.  Faith is different from that and I keep much of it separate.  I know God works for me and I also know that Creighton doesn't work for me.  I wouldn't have known that without the help of the infertile blog community and I thank you so very much for that.  We don't all have to get pregnant and have children to come to conclusions about our predicament.

I'll keep blogging, because it's mostly fun.  And I'll try not to take it personally when you don't comment.  I just hope you find my blog and entertaining and educational experience.


  1. Most of the time any lack of commenting on my part has little to do with the content of the actual post, and how interesting or compelling it is, and more to do with my own lack of anything interesting to say. :P I always enjoy your posts.

  2. I am anti-conflict in action, but very much a choleric at heart (ahh...the plight of the choleric/sanguine). While neither my life nor do I believe anyone else's life is all "ribbons and rainbows", I do shy away from controversial or what you may call sensitive topics for the very reason is that I don't want to get into a debate. And I know that comments don't necessarily lead to debates, it is just the inner turmoil that is caused on my end is not worth it (in my opinion) and I am just trying to be honest here. And besides, there are other bloggers that are much, much, much better at tackling the serious issues of the day. I know that sounds like a cop out, but it is what is.

    But one thing, I have to say for me personally, it is sometimes hard to read a Catholic blog (whatever the blog may be) that is in support (even if that support is limited) of things that go against fundamental Catholic teaching - such as the subject you brought up - abortion for that matter. You have a right to your opinion, as everyone else does, but I guess it is hard for me to grasp the apparent incongruity. I don't know if that made sense and I am trying to be sincere and transparent, but I apologize if this is coming off wrong. Anyway, and as far abortion topics go in general, I even shy away from blog posts of Catholics who are ardently pro-life in all aspects because even though they are defending the Church's stance on the sanctity of all human life the comments from detractors make me cringe, but that is my issue not yours.

    All of this to say, I agree with Hebrews, sometimes I just don't know what to say and for the most part that is why I don't comment in more regularity on some blogs. I do appreciate your honesty and perspectives, even if I don't always agree.

  3. Hi Airing! I'm sorry you feel this way. This truly is a support group here, and I've personally felt so much support from the ladies.

    If I may, I might just give you my personal opinion on why people don't feel comfortable commenting here. That is, they probably don't know what to say when you claim to be faithful to the Magisterium, but then admit to not agreeing with the Church's most fundamental teaching on the Right to Life. I'm assuming most women are just avoiding an uncomfortable situation by not commenting.

    For a faithful Catholic, it's pretty simple, really. The CCC #2270 says, "Human life must be respected and protected absolutely from the moment of conception. From the first moment of his existence, a human being must be recognized as having the rights of a person -- among which is the inviolable right of every innocent being to life."

    And with regards to contraception: "[E]very action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible is intrinsically evil" (CCC 2370).

    I'm not trying to lecture, just to shed some light and hopefully teach a little. I think it could be confusing for a lot of people who aren't as orthodox to see the Catholic Infertility Blogger button on your sidebar, but then see that you're pro-abortion and contraception. I guess even I'm a little confused!

  4. I enjoy reading your blog because not only do you seem to have a similar 'whatever will be will be' attitude towards your sub-fertility (rather than the obsessive 'havetofixthisnowattitude" which drives me a little batty sometimes), but because you also seem to have a lot of thoughts that frankly, I used to have. Reading your posts makes me remember that train of thought and if I don't comment, well maybe its because I am smart enough to realize that no one's mind is ever changed by reading a blog post or because of what someone comments.

    But back to the topic, this post confused seemed to say yourself that if you disagree with something but then walk away, you feel better. Yet you're upset when people don't comment on your controversial posts? Seems if you read certain blog posts you wouldn't comment either?

    I think we're all here to support each other on our fertility journeys, but you're right, when you venture off that and discuss topics not directly related then maybe people don't want to stir the pot. But that doesn't mean we don't care about the same issues. I think I just recognize its your space, your blog, and you seem pretty set in your views, so what's the point? Most posts I comment on about these topics phrase things in a question to invite discussion whereas your format is more of a diary of what you think.