Friday, February 17, 2012

2ww Update

It pains me to write "2ww."  I haven't considered my luteal phase a two week wait for over a year, perhaps longer than that because I found it wasted time.  And I deplore wasted time.  One of my favorite Madonna songs (all of her songs are practically my favorite, actually), "Love Song" has a great line:
Time goes by so slowly for those who wait
And those who run seem to have all the fun
It's the inherent sense of urgency I've adopted in my life that forces me to take action now, today and not tomorrow.  I'm fortunate to have married someone who feels the same type of time pressure.  And pressure's not bad in my book.  What's interesting about Madonna's Like A Prayer album, it's where I learned the Act of Contrition.  She recites it in the last song on the album.  And back in the 80s when the album came out, I got it in a CD and the booklet was scented with some aromatic oil.  This was during her whole Catholic rebellion phase (at least the start of it) so I don't know if the oil was supposed to be holy oil.  When I was anointed, I don't remember it smelling so nice.  Wiki chimes in:
The packaging on the first pressings of the CD, cassette, and LP were scented with patchouli oils to simulate church incense. A publicist for Warner Bros. Records said, "She wanted to create a flavor of the 60's and the church. She wanted to create a sensual feeling you could hear and smell."
OK, back to present day.  I've been taking the progesterone since Sunday.  My mood hasn't exactly been great, I'm a little jittery but maybe that's because work this week has been very busy and our lives are filled with an inordinate amount of administrative details that require almost constant attention.  The only physical side effects of the progesterone (or something else) is melasma, aka pregnancy mask.  But the weird part is it's only on my left palm.  It looks like orange self-tanner gone wrong.  Thankfully, I can hide it.

I'm not sure the progesterone insert is helpful in that the reported side effects of the drug are the exact same as early pregnancy.  I'd have to chalk up any symptoms to the drug since I'm only seven days out from the trigger shot.  For sure, I have tried very hard to not assume anything.  Of course I do the occasional obsessive stuff like figuring out the date I'd notify my happy family of the little one and trolling blogs and reading very closely those posts that track early pregnancy, here, here, and here.

Beyond those things I'm living my life as normal.  I've had a couple drinks, exercise like normal, keep contributing to my retirement funds.  Nothing can stave off disappointment when you try hard to get pregnant but don't but at least, if that happens, I'll be able to look back at the last two weeks and not have any regrets.


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