I've really have no one else to tell this story to, so I'll tell the internets. It's been a rough two weeks but I persevere. I'm proud of that. I struggle with my feelings of loneliness but I get through. That's something.
Ok, David Hasselhoff. Some years ago, I watched, I think it was the E! True Hollywood Story on Baywatch. I remember two things about that. One, the tall, skinny brunette actress said that Pamela Anderson made ten times more than she. Two, that some women were trying to "get with" David Hasselhoff somewhere and he said that he wouldn't go for it because "you're either married or you're not and I'm married." For some reason, I have a vivid memory of him saying that.
Fast forward to this morning. There's a guy who works for a competitor and we see each other often in meetings. Over the past five years since we met, we've had lunch a few times. We are friends.
We saw each other at a meeting this morning and as I walk to my car he says, "If you're around this weekend, maybe we could have a drink." "Well, my husband will be in town so it will have to be the three of us," I said as I closed my car door.
I knew instantly as I drove back to work that gaul dang it, I had to have THE CONVERSATION. I left him a message and waited for his call. He called back about 45 minutes later. I explained that although I like him and enjoy talking to him about our industry and work, I am married and we shouldn't see each other socially, i.e. for lunch anymore. Sure, we'll see each other in professional settings but no socializing will take place. He asked if he said something that offended me. I said no. Things were just getting to the point where something bad was going to happen if I took him up on his offer at a meet-up in a bar. So, that's why no meet-ups in bars.
I'm a little ashamed (maybe a lot ashamed) it got to the point of having that conversation, but I figure (so soon after the fact) that once you're married, your feelings don't go away, they just have to be dealt with in a mature, ethical way and if you have to tell someone to back off or get the hell away, you should do so. So I tip my hat to David Hasselhoff because "you're either married or you're not, and I'm [most certainly] married."