Why is it when something bad happens, all the bad, painful memories crop up? Anyway, I'm sorry I neglected to tell my faithful readers that I didn't get that job. I found out a couple of weeks ago. He said somebody had more experience than me which I absolutely don't believe. But, that attitude will take me nowhere. :) Life goes on, I guess.
I wish I was one of those Catholic bloggers with the perfect attitudes and ever cheerful posts. But I'm thankful (see, I can do it too) my relative anonymity gives me more freedom to talk honestly. Not that the cheerful bloggers aren't honest, of course. They're just more perfect than me.
That said, I struggle against playing my type. If I'm paranoid to any degree I tend to believe everybody who knows us is waiting for me to crack. "Oh yeah, he shouldn't have married someone so much younger." "Yeah, she's too ambitious." "Give it a few years, she'll mess around." I don't so my struggle with my own feelings as I wrestle with what other people think about me and what I'll do. But, my mother said not to worry, nobody's thinking about me. ;) She told me that as a teenager, I think, to make me not worry about maintaining a good reputation? I don't know. My mother says some very wise things and also some very dumb things. I guess everybody's capable of that.
I'm beating around the bush, yes!
To follow up on the comments on the last post.... My husband's family is just very different from my own. My FIL's age is just shy of what my own grandfather's would be if he were still alive. It's a generational problem. It's a cultural problem. Even though we're all from California, they identify themselves as still part of a culture that keep family close. I'm from one who considers the individual more important than the family. We prize fierce Independence. Not to say we don't love our family. We do.
There's a really interesting piece in the NY Times today. It's about a mother who worries about her adult children. Enlightening to say the least. It helped me figure out why my husband's situation with his parents bothers me so much. It's the lack of privacy I so cherish. I view my marriage as creating a separate family. We are separate from my family and his family.
But that's not the case anymore. He lives what he views as not with his parents but he's a stone's throw away. That's too close for me. The asking about sleep from my FIL was an invasion of privacy. The best thing my in-laws can do is kick my husband out of the house. But should I ask them to do that? F*ck. This situation is totally screwed.