Tuesday, April 24, 2012

I Think I Need To Be Less Aware

I guess it's National Infertility Awareness Week.  I'm really not sure what that entails except I'm about as aware as I need to be.  My husband was very sweet to send me a link to a MS..N story on infertility: http://health.msn.com/pregnancy/the-invisible-pain-of-infertility

The article advocates infertiles coming out of the proverbial closet.  Give up your anonymity; tell people to their faces that you can't have a baby!  Except, what good is that going to do?  I value my privacy.  I don't want people talking about me.  Now, if a teenager asks me a question about infertility, I'd answer it truthfully.  But telling fertile people in my life about my condition changes nothing, especially how they feel about me or respond to me.  Now, I know some infertile Catholics feel self-conscious about going to Mass and it's just you and your husband, no baby or baby bump in sight, and people assume you're contracepting.  But I have some amount of pride in the same situation.  Knowing that I did everything I could, and did it according to the Church's principles, I feel like a survivor.  I am not ashamed.  I might be blue or sad or pissed about it sometimes, but the last thing I am is ashamed.

The big celebrity infertile news this week is that Bill and Guiliana Rancic are pregnant in a sense; a gestational carrier is pregnant with their biological baby.  I've been following their story for a long time, and hoped that I'd run into them when I attended Mass at their L...A.. parish.  I figured they'd use a surrogate.  They talked about adoption, more IVF.  However, for them, money is pretty much no object so why not pay for a domestic surrogate?  I'm just more than a little disappointed that as Catholics, they took this route.  Not that I'm not happy they'll be parents.  It just sets a bad example for the rest of us especially when they'll likely dodge the surrogacy cost question in their reality show.  A baby at any price?  Really?

If I sound like I'm in a bad mood, I am.  If all we have to count on for information is the internet, advocacy groups, and the government, we're in super bad shape.  I don't need the topic of infertility beat over my head.  Thanks, RESOLVE for awareness but sometimes women like me need a break.


  1. I don't know why Bill and Guiliana bother me so much. I felt the same way about Céline Dion and her openness about her IVFs -- yes, get married in a huge cathedral and then advocate ART.


    I just don't get it.

    And yes, I wish I could be more open during Infertility Awareness Week, but I can't. I'm trying my best to stay afloat.