Monday, September 26, 2011

Can't seem to get a break. But I'm no longer surprised.

I told my husband yesterday that I can't find solace anywhere.  That's not entirely true, my SIL has been really great and my Dad is pretty good to me.  But when my husband asks me how I'm feeling on different days, I don't tell him I'm fine or not fine, I tell him I just rely on Jesus.  I've been paying extra special attention to the daily Mass readings and I'm finding a treasure trove of wisdom in them.  Praise God!

I witnessed something this weekend that I've only seen on TV or in the movies.  My FIL verbally attacked my husband.  He told his son all kinds of terrible things over lunch with me and my MIL present.  I've started to notice after knowing them for five years that my MIL nervously giggles when her husband is being a complete jerk.  But I'd never quite seen him being a complete d*ck as he was yesterday.  

The abuse I think followed the usual pattern.  "You're a screw up, I told my friends what [I think] you did, your brother always does the right thing, I would never have done what you did."  My husband sat there gently defending himself but he was starting to really sweat and my MIL did not intervene.  I couldn't take the crap when my FIL got to the part where he sold my husband out to his friends.  

I placed my hand on my FIL's forearm and said something to the effect of, "What you're doing is wrong.  You're judging a situation you know nothing about.  And you should not talk to your son that way."  He replied, "I can say anything I want to my son, Mrs.!"  He barked the "Mrs." part.  I think he meant to insult my position as just a wife, but I have full confidence in myself so it didn't bother me if he was trying to cause hurt.

When the attack was winding down, I called him an egomaniac because I couldn't think of megalomaniac which was probably more descriptive of the man.  So, I was pissed but we rather quickly left their house and I hugged my FIL because I love Jesus that much and told him I'd pray for him.  His response was "you're praying for me?  Pray for your husband."  I ignored that.

Not coming from that kind of family, I was very surprised by my husband's reaction which was, "why get upset and give him the satisfaction?"  That made sense to my head but my heart was just breaking for my husband.  He said that's the way his father has always been, that's he's never been supportive.  Praise be to God that my husband has been able to overcome that.  He's not perfect, but he's a good man and I am very proud to be his wife.  Yesterday's rant taught me a lot about my in-laws and that's only a good thing.    


  1. Oh my goodness. :(
    How terrible of your FIL! I'm glad you said something though...I would have (at least I would hope) said something. I'll offer up a prayer or two for that particular situation. So sorry!!

  2. That sounds TERRIBLE!!!! I"m so glad you stood up for your husband. He (your husband) sounds wise, too, in not getting upset. I'm so sorry he's had to learn that awful lesson. But I'm so glad you spoke up. Sounds like the kind of situation you relive for a while wishing you'd said ___, __ and ___! What a witness to hug him and offer prayers!

  3. You have amazing self-control! I wouldn't have been able to hold my tongue in that situation!

    Praying for you!

  4. Oh my gosh, this is horrible :(. I am so sorry you and your husband and to deal with this. Good for you for not only sticking up for him, but also for offering your prayers as well.

    You will all be in my prayers.

  5. That is just horrible. What a christian response you had for your FIL. I know I wouldn't be so good :)