The priest announced before the beginning of Mass that the Mother's Day blessing would come at the end. I was still undecided what I would do however pretty much leaning towards joining the standing women. And I stood up feeling very good about my decision. It was a wonderful feeling having hands extended in blessing. Why this special feeling would be denied to anyone is beyond me. I and any other woman who has faithfully tried to conceive (along with a whole host of others) deserves to stand.
After Mass, an older pal was beaming at me. Uh oh. She said, "You stood up! I didn't know you are...." "I am not pregnant," I stated in a firm, steady voice. She said something after that, that I couldn't make out but clearly she was confused and rightly so. I put my arm around her and said, "It's a long story. I'm happy to talk to you about it when we have more time." And then I asked her if her kids (all grown) had called her to wish her a happy Mother's Day.
Outside the church, my husband expressed concern. "I knew when you stood up it was going to unleash a lot of curiosity." Actually, he said, "...a can of worms." "What am I supposed to say to people?" "I doubt anyone would ask but if they do, say that your wife is not pregnant and if that person is curious, I am more than happy to answer their questions." He said he was OK with that.
DH and I went to Starbucks after that and talked. "This is the beginning of taking infertility out of the shadows. I am not ashamed." We say in Retrouvaille that pain not shared is wasted pain. This is hopefully a new beginning.
I love it! Good for you for standing up. And I love your response to your friend (and others who may ask).
ReplyDeleteYou are so brave!
ReplyDeleteAwesome! That's awesome! It is time infertility comes out from the shadows. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteYou are brave....thankfully this year our parish priest did the blessing while everyone was standing at the end of the service. My dh is going to email him and thank him. In light of one in six couples experience IF...everyone including priests need to be aware and more compassionate...afterall IF is a heavy cross.
ReplyDeleteOur priests asked for mothers to stand. I was surprised, last year it was done with mothers sitting. As was done in the past, they included spiritual mothers, godmothers, etc etc.
ReplyDeleteI stood up for this blessing when I was nine :). I was, typically, SORT OF paying attention. My DH asked me whether I wanted to leave when my parish did this yesterday (with the mothers standing), but I didn't mind sitting there - the sting has faded a lot. But - that's me. There are people for whom that wound is very fresh. I need to say something. Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteYou stood up and I stayed sitting!!! Good for you! I'm proud of you!
ReplyDeleteWow!!!! You go girl :) I love your chutzpah!
ReplyDelete