Saturday, October 6, 2012

Not Leaving This House

Today.  I am not stepping one foot outside this house today.  Not even to check on the garden (which is dying off anyway as we enter autumn) and I could do that from a window.  Thank you sweet ladies for your comments and advice on my last post.  And I very much appreciate JBTC's prayers for my marriage.  We are no where near divorce [Whoa, that's sounds like a misleading statement.  We love each other, plan on staying together til death do us part.  I don't mean to make this sound like a desperate situation.  It isn't.] or even emotional estrangement but we most certainly have "things" to work out.  Ours is an unusual situation and we're both trying to navigate our own feelings as well as each others.  My husband admittedly is not so good at managing my expectations so we try something different every weekend, trying to get it right.  But - to answer a question left on the last post.  He can't come home because  he has only Sundays off.  He works until 10:30pm on Saturday and has to be back by 7am on Monday.  So, coming home to visit me is not feasible.

So, Thursday.  I kept the same suit pants on all day which was my wardrobe solution.  I just needed to change my shoes (which could be done in the car) and my top.  As I got into town around 2:45pm, I didn't have anyplace to go to change (my in-laws live a half hour out-of-town).  I certainly had no interest in a fast food joint or gas station.  So, I went to our accountants office.  I walked in with my blouse on a wrapped hanger said, "Hi, I'm [my name].  I'm a client of Stacy's.  Can I use the bathroom?"  And I off I went to tidy up.

The meeting with the would-be boss had been scheduled for a half-hour.  We ended up talking for 2.  I hadn't realized it was two hours because I never looked down at my watch but it felt like a long time.  I guess that's a good sign when you enjoy talking to someone and never notice the time passing.  He seems like a very nice, straight-forward person.  He seemed to like me, too and made some genuine intimations that I was the best monkey for the job.  Even though I said I'd be happy to come back and meet with more people from the company (which I thought should have been done on Thursday) I am not all interested in going back there for a couple weeks.  If he calls to suggest that, hard negotiating is in order.  So, I expect to hear something Monday or Tuesday.

When the interview was over, I called my MIL and headed to their house.  I walked in to dinner on the table (Ah!  I miss those childhood days) and I suffered through watching Fox News and the O'Reilly Factor.  What's with printing the script on the right side of the screen?  It made my head hurt.  But everybody had to do the post-debate analysis.

I went back to the guest house and my husband came in after 10pm.  We talked for about 15 minutes and then it was off to sleep.  He stayed with my until 7:30 the next morning which was really nice.  So, of course I was already there so I offered to do the shopping.  My husband said I didn't have to but that was really the only way to make myself useful that day.  I won't do it again.  But I had to try it once.  The Costco excursion took an hour and a half then I took off for to hit the Tr.ader Jo.e's.  UGH!  It was by far the crappiest TJ's I'd ever been too.  I was starting to become really agitated.  They were missing a huge amount of regular inventory and they didn't even have Moretti!!!!!

The Chee.sec.ake Factory was just a mile away and I'd threatened before to buy a slice.  There was an Anthro.pologie next door so I just had to go in.  The salespeople reminded me of (and forgive me if you are from or live in Missouri) the sales staff in shops at the upscale mall in Kansas City.  They were worse than the Rodeo Drive folks.  Not one person offered to start me a dressing room even though I had three items in my hand!  They paid better attention to the people in trendy clothing.  I guess my 10-year old tank top, $15 sweater, jeans, and sneakers didn't pass the "you look like you have money" test.  I put the items back on the hooks and left.  Besides, the whole scene was pretty disgusting with people shopping and eating expensive food when gas yesterday hit $4.60 for regular!!!!  This is the beginning of Armageddon, I'm telling you.

I and my cheesecake drove to my husband's office, we shared it, talked for a couple minutes and I left.  I gathered my stuff up from the house, talked to my MIL one last time and was on the road by 4pm.  Never again will I do that drive Friday evening.  All the reckless drivers come out and I didn't exactly feel safe.  I was home right after 7pm.  Drank a beer (Stella Artois; good stuff), and paid the monthly bills.

My husband had asked me a couple times on Friday to stay until at least Saturday morning.  I like sleeping with him, too.  A lot.  But a night of cuddling does not make up for a day of total inactivity or boredom.  And we talked about that last night.  We agreed that me staying home and living my life made our marriage much better and me a lot happier.  This intense period of work for him is almost over (maybe another six weeks) so we'll get back on a regular visiting schedule soon.  So, not even considering getting this new job, we can make it work.  I'm confident in that.

And here I am.  In my house.  I love my house.  I was going to drive to the gym to run on the treadmill.  I have been doing a lot of running lately which I should have been blogging about but suffice to say, being in great cardiovascular shape is what is keeping me energetic and capable of handling this exhaustive schedule. But, I'm not stepping one foot outside this house so I'll work out indoors today.  Today is for me!!!!  YEAH!!!


  1. All marriages have "things" to work on or work out. Some people choose to blog about them and some do not. That is good that you and your dh are working it out and I agree...staying home and taking care of your own things sounds good. That schedule you had on Fri sounded hectic. Eeek.

    Is he at least hiring a maid? Just curious.

  2. Sounds like you made a good choice...hope you get the job ;)

  3. Are you referring to The Plaza in KC? I'd agree...but great people watching!

    1. Yes, Country Club Plaza! Just the name is so perfectly arrogant. :)

  4. Sometimes you need a day when you get to do ONLY WHAT YOU WANT. Hope it was lovely!

  5. Prayers for the job offer!

    It sounds like you are doing a great job taking care of yourself during this time of separation. It's a tough call to opt for less time together, especially when it's your DH and you do love him, but insufficient rest and time for yourself are never good for a marriage.

    My DH and I are living apart until Christmas time. I miss him a lot, but so far, I'm finding that I need to protect myself and our marriage from resentment. Or even the seeds of what could turn into resentment as soon as I start feeling overwhelmed.