You might wonder why I post news stories about the Church, the Vatican, health topics, etc. One is that I'm just trying to keep track of what I find interesting and two, not that you should consider me a news source, I like to publicize certain events to our little community. As a fairly beginner Catholic, I love reading and learning about internal Vatican politics because I'm nerdy about organization theory. Corruption really gets my goat and I think it's very important to understand the structure of what we're believing in. That's it in a nutshell.
So, I'm not dead, obviously but I am just now finishing up one of the most exhausting, maddening periods in my work life. I don't like to talk specifically about my work here because, although this is an anonymous blog, I don't believe anything done online is ever truly anonymous and therefore I am concerned that speaking badly about my co-workers, employer will land me in hot trouble. Let's just say at times, the situation had become so embarrassing, so belittling, so unjust, so aggravating it was giving me persistent headaches. Heck, I still kind of have it. It starts on the lower right side of my brain then moves to the top frontal region and now has landed on the lower left side. I take a lot Aleve. And some random days off, here and there. I took a mental health day just yesterday.
Last Friday, my husband had a meeting with a sta.te sen.ator that included several other folks (the Land.ow.ners) that have a serious beef with the O.il Companies. Since I had the day off, I joined him. We were way overdressed (everybody else were in jeans, we in suits) but I subscribe to the "better off overdressed than under" theory. In our state, apparently mineral rights supersede those the landowners. Example, if you own the mineral rights on my parcel(s), you can come in at any point, don't have to even consult with me, and drill your own little oil well on my property. You can put it anywhere you'd like, carve out a road, and don't have to pay me or take any mitigation measures to compensate me for lost income, i.e. I might be growing some crops that you've obliterated because of your oil well. We're on the side of the good people. So, Lando.wners were there to lobby for legislation but the senator suggested arbitration which no one felt very confident about because the O.il Compani.es are so high and mighty, they agree to meet then promptly cancel the meetings.
But, this gets me to my real reason for telling this story, inappropriate winking. The Landow.ner ringleader who is a well-connected, rich guy (but all rich people are well-connected, I know) who leases a little property from my husband's family. Last Friday was the first time I'd met him. When we started the meeting, we were waiting for one person to show up so the conversation turned to promoting healthy food for school lunches. Hey, I like the idea but I was observing a self-imposed silence as I'd done as much talking that week than my little brain could take. So, I might have looked uneducated, air-headish (I am blonde.) In the middle of other people taking, Ringleader makes eye contact with me, gives me a little devilish smile, and winks.
Devilish is the best adjective I can come up with but the smile and wink really struck me as, "It's OK there, doll, I know this stuff is over your head, but it'll be OK." I wasn't so much offended as thinking, "why is this guy acting like he knows what I'm about when he doesn't have the first clue." But I am judged by my looks a lot. I think in this case, I'm looking pretty dolled up, next to my husband who is old enough to be my father, so I look like a gold digger, idiot. When we got married, it never really occurred to me that we'd be judged by our age difference but it is a fact of life. People are judgmental about men marrying much younger women. I get it. But it can blind side you when you're just trying to live your life and people think you're shallow, vapid, untrustworthy, etc. Other examples are, "You don't look like you're ride a motorcycle." "You don't look like you'd hike 75-miles in Peru, etc." I'm tempted to ask, "well, what does that person look like?" Maybe I'll start.